I blamed myself for decades for not being well enough to do the things I wanted or felt I needed to do in life, for not being enough. I thought I'd done something to cause my illnesses, that all I had to do was fix whatever it was I'd done wrong and I'd be well. I was taught - trained - conditioned - to think that way.
Self-compassion has been my healing tool for the past decade or so. It won't cure my illnesses but it means I can live with them, instead of dying from them.
Thanks so much for sharing. This is all so poignant and resonant. Your observation about the conditioning to be that way is so on point for me too. I'm so glad you found self-compassion as a tool. It's definitely something I need to delve deeper with.
Thanks so much for sharing. It was when I read Kristin Neff's self compassion books that I finally began the process of healing. It shocked and saddened me how much self-compassion was missing from my life. (i actually read wild motherhood right after fierce self compassion which also helped so much with my self compassion and creative inspiration as a depressed new mother)
I really feel what you've expressed here, your insight is very encouraging.
I'm so glad it's encouraging! And I'm really encouraged and touched to hear about how Wild Motherhood supported you. Wonderful that you've found Kristin Neff too!
This was excellent, Morgana. Thank you for including audio - I was listening intently and totally surprised to hear my name 🥰
We’ve had some wonderful exchanges that have impacted me as well. And I feel we are aligned in our experiences right now. 🫶
I think you would appreciate Anj Granieri’s emails if you don’t get them already - I just read one on genetics not only validating MECFS as “real” (this is important after such a fraught history) but also guiding healing.
I also saw an IG creator talking about giving up the “root cause” and replacing it with “finding a way in” which I resonated with and was reminded of here. Essentially, we can develop this condition for so many reasons, but what is the one thing you feel like doing right now to be more compassionate with yourself and better mange your symptoms (imperfectly, of course!)
Thanks for the lovely listen this afternoon, it was accompanied by bird song and made me feel connected to the self-compassion crew on here. 🥰
Circling back round to say thank you so much for pointing me towards Anj Granieri - wow! She brings together so many things I've been painstakingly trying to figure out on my own and what she's saying about pacing AND brain retraining makes so much sense. Definitely going to dive deeper.
Almost forgot - I was equally excited to hear you mention Visible! I’ve been using it since May 2024, including periods when I took it off and went rogue.. . 😂
It really is empowering to have that knowledge when you’re okay with accepting where you’re at!
Thanks Lisa! I appreciate these reframes and resources. I'm so glad you could listen to the post (& be surprised by your name!) along with birdsong and feel connected.
I love that you went rogue for a while with Visible... curious what brought you back to it, and what you noticed about the difference between using it or not, you feel to share.
There is so much in here that I resonate with Morgana.
I really liked this part ”I’m less inclined to see my health as a puzzle to solve, which I’m going to get a medal for figuring out, the way I got gold stars and A’s in school as a way of proving my worth.” - I think this approach is gold dust.
And this following part reminded me of a thought I had recently …“even if I never have a busier or more outwardly productive life than I have now, and don’t have any more energy than I do now, that’s OK”… the thought was ‘if I accepted that this is what I have to work with today, how could I *actually* work with that?’ It’s easier said than done to hear our deep self and respond with the volume of activity we can actually manage, but it sounds like you’re doing pretty great at it.
Ps. The wonderful Hannah Anstee recently told me about the work of Dr Sarno and I gave this old video a watch - the ADHD realllllly wanted to skip through it, but it helped to watch the whole thing so that I understood the ideas and properly absorbed them. I have to say, the ideas alone have been helping me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbF2HMXtfZ4&t=25s
Thanks so much, Sophie! I appreciated hearing your resonances. One of my current wellness resolutions is to create more stillness, space and silence to hear my "deep self" as you put it. Too much noise sometimes from different opinions on social media etc. I'll check out the video, I'm familiar with Sarno's work and did a chronic mind-body condition recovery course based on his work but tbh didn't find it went deep enough.
I know lots of people recover completely using these concepts, but I believe most if not all of them were people who weren't ill as long and/or encountered trauma in more isolated incidents in adulthood - some of us have deeper-rooted issues from birth/early childhood and/or neurodivergence that impacts things differently, and a more nuanced approach is needed than just telling the body/NS it's safe when, let's face it, it hasn't felt safe, ever. Just my two cents! But I'll stay open-minded because there's a lot of value in how he tied certain things together, I believe. Thanks for reading and commenting. I love Hannah's work too - you've just reminded me to check out what she's up to lately!
A big yes to the less is more approach, and totally agree with you about multi-layered, intersectional issues impacting things differently as well. I received support from Hannah via her most recent offering and loved the fact that she took a nuanced approach, because like you say a one size fits all approach really doesn't work for us!
Oh, I wanted to do that too with Hannah but sadly missed the boat due to lack of funds. I'm so glad it was helpful and nuanced! Sounds like we are on a similar page.
I blamed myself for decades for not being well enough to do the things I wanted or felt I needed to do in life, for not being enough. I thought I'd done something to cause my illnesses, that all I had to do was fix whatever it was I'd done wrong and I'd be well. I was taught - trained - conditioned - to think that way.
Self-compassion has been my healing tool for the past decade or so. It won't cure my illnesses but it means I can live with them, instead of dying from them.
Thanks so much for sharing. This is all so poignant and resonant. Your observation about the conditioning to be that way is so on point for me too. I'm so glad you found self-compassion as a tool. It's definitely something I need to delve deeper with.
Thanks so much for sharing. It was when I read Kristin Neff's self compassion books that I finally began the process of healing. It shocked and saddened me how much self-compassion was missing from my life. (i actually read wild motherhood right after fierce self compassion which also helped so much with my self compassion and creative inspiration as a depressed new mother)
I really feel what you've expressed here, your insight is very encouraging.
I'm so glad it's encouraging! And I'm really encouraged and touched to hear about how Wild Motherhood supported you. Wonderful that you've found Kristin Neff too!
This was excellent, Morgana. Thank you for including audio - I was listening intently and totally surprised to hear my name 🥰
We’ve had some wonderful exchanges that have impacted me as well. And I feel we are aligned in our experiences right now. 🫶
I think you would appreciate Anj Granieri’s emails if you don’t get them already - I just read one on genetics not only validating MECFS as “real” (this is important after such a fraught history) but also guiding healing.
I also saw an IG creator talking about giving up the “root cause” and replacing it with “finding a way in” which I resonated with and was reminded of here. Essentially, we can develop this condition for so many reasons, but what is the one thing you feel like doing right now to be more compassionate with yourself and better mange your symptoms (imperfectly, of course!)
Thanks for the lovely listen this afternoon, it was accompanied by bird song and made me feel connected to the self-compassion crew on here. 🥰
Circling back round to say thank you so much for pointing me towards Anj Granieri - wow! She brings together so many things I've been painstakingly trying to figure out on my own and what she's saying about pacing AND brain retraining makes so much sense. Definitely going to dive deeper.
Ooh I’m so glad! She’s a wonderful human and a gorgeous writer 🙏
Almost forgot - I was equally excited to hear you mention Visible! I’ve been using it since May 2024, including periods when I took it off and went rogue.. . 😂
It really is empowering to have that knowledge when you’re okay with accepting where you’re at!
Sometimes, while it's hard, I've found acceptance to be key on the journey
Absolutely!
Thanks Lisa! I appreciate these reframes and resources. I'm so glad you could listen to the post (& be surprised by your name!) along with birdsong and feel connected.
I love that you went rogue for a while with Visible... curious what brought you back to it, and what you noticed about the difference between using it or not, you feel to share.
*if* you feel to share, that should have said.
There is so much in here that I resonate with Morgana.
I really liked this part ”I’m less inclined to see my health as a puzzle to solve, which I’m going to get a medal for figuring out, the way I got gold stars and A’s in school as a way of proving my worth.” - I think this approach is gold dust.
And this following part reminded me of a thought I had recently …“even if I never have a busier or more outwardly productive life than I have now, and don’t have any more energy than I do now, that’s OK”… the thought was ‘if I accepted that this is what I have to work with today, how could I *actually* work with that?’ It’s easier said than done to hear our deep self and respond with the volume of activity we can actually manage, but it sounds like you’re doing pretty great at it.
Ps. The wonderful Hannah Anstee recently told me about the work of Dr Sarno and I gave this old video a watch - the ADHD realllllly wanted to skip through it, but it helped to watch the whole thing so that I understood the ideas and properly absorbed them. I have to say, the ideas alone have been helping me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbF2HMXtfZ4&t=25s
Thanks so much, Sophie! I appreciated hearing your resonances. One of my current wellness resolutions is to create more stillness, space and silence to hear my "deep self" as you put it. Too much noise sometimes from different opinions on social media etc. I'll check out the video, I'm familiar with Sarno's work and did a chronic mind-body condition recovery course based on his work but tbh didn't find it went deep enough.
I know lots of people recover completely using these concepts, but I believe most if not all of them were people who weren't ill as long and/or encountered trauma in more isolated incidents in adulthood - some of us have deeper-rooted issues from birth/early childhood and/or neurodivergence that impacts things differently, and a more nuanced approach is needed than just telling the body/NS it's safe when, let's face it, it hasn't felt safe, ever. Just my two cents! But I'll stay open-minded because there's a lot of value in how he tied certain things together, I believe. Thanks for reading and commenting. I love Hannah's work too - you've just reminded me to check out what she's up to lately!
A big yes to the less is more approach, and totally agree with you about multi-layered, intersectional issues impacting things differently as well. I received support from Hannah via her most recent offering and loved the fact that she took a nuanced approach, because like you say a one size fits all approach really doesn't work for us!
Oh, I wanted to do that too with Hannah but sadly missed the boat due to lack of funds. I'm so glad it was helpful and nuanced! Sounds like we are on a similar page.